Good Morning Muffin! (scone, but good morning scone sounds stupid)

You may not know it, but protein is a great way to get your body working at top form. Fiber helps you go, and as Jamie Lee Curtis will tell you, nothing is better than being able to go. A cornerstone of my life's philosophy is that if everyone started out their day with a really good - you know - there would be no war. Really, it's hard to harbor anger when you feel lighter than air - internally. To that end, (end, get it?) and if I haven't killed your desire to eat entirely, I present you with my high protein, high fiber, and really delicious Protein Morning Muffin. You can make these in muffin tins or cut them up and make them scones, which considering their density is closer to the mark.
Bob's Red Mill offers all of the weird flour type ingredients listed here. And this recipe was developed as a challenge from my partner in all things, Matt. He handed me a bag of Bob's Coconut flour, and remarked, "Hey, could you do something with this?" Assuming he meant something edible, this is what I came up with.

1/3 cup Whole Soy Flour (I use Bob's Red Mill)
1/3 cup Quinoa Flour
1 cup Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
1/4 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup Coconut Flour
1tsp Baking Soda
2 jumbo eggs beaten
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup non-fat plain Greek yogurt
2 over-ripe bananas
1/3 cup melted butter
2/3 dried cranberries
Preheat the oven to 350 and put the cupcake liners into your muffin tin - or cut the dough into even pieces. These don't rise much, so as big as you make them, that's as big as they are gonna get.
Mix the dry ingredients, mix the wet. Add the wet to the dry in three parts mixing in between. Put them in the tin and bake for 25 minutes.

Enjoy!!!!

Get Up and Get Out of My House!

I am a morning person. I am probably too much of a morning person for the rest of the people in this house. They are more late morning/early noonish people. Technically, I'm sure no one enjoys being serenaded with show tunes before 6am. I'm sure when most people roll out of bed, the last thing they want to see is a 42 year old woman with the energy level and enthusiasm of Elmo. I recognize this.

And yet, I am helpless. As a true morning person, when I open my eyes an obscene amount of sunshine just naturally falls out of my ass.

And so, mornings here are no easy feat.  My alarm goes off at 5:30 and my feet hit the floor before the first pass of the snooze button. I have 3 people to feed and get out of the door before 7am. How do I get them moving in the morning, without leading them to murder the smiling lady?

Shakes. These are great for a morning when you should eat, but don't have time, or in place of lunch, or a snack with homework, or after a workout ... you get the point. I offer you two variations.

I get the frozen berries, honey and yogurt from costco - good for you can be pretty cheap

This is Matt's Good Morning, Darling! Shake. And it is LOADED with the good stuff.

Ingredients:
3/4 cup nonfat greek yogurt
2 cups frozen berries
1/4 cup unsweetened fruit juice of your choice*
1 tbs honey
1/8 cup ground flax seed

*my PIAT suffers from hereditary gout, so any chance I have to sneak in a little cherry juice, I do. When I'm making one for myself, I put in unsweetened cranberry juice, to keep the lady parts well oiled.

Instructions:
throw the first 4 ingredients into a large glass and blend with a wand - or toss in a blender. Once blended add flax and blend again.

he says it looks like a care bear threw up, but he asks for them all the time

For my second variation, I offer you - Ike's WHY DOES MY SCHOOL HAVE TO START AT 7,MOM? shake.

and if I'm feeling REALLY nice I add a little cocoa powder

Ingredients:
3/4 cup nonfat greek yogurt
1/2 cup milk or almond milk
1 frozen banana*
1 tbs (heaping) honey
1 tbs (heaping) peanut butter
1/8 cup ground flax seed

*I don't know if everyone freezes their bananas, but when they get overripe, or in my family's case "EWWWW BROWN" peel them, put them in a bag and stick them in the freezer, for future banana bread and shakes!

Instructions:

it's hard to complain about the early hours with this in your face

Blend everything but the flax, then add the flax and blend again. And YUM! You'll feel like Elvis, but without the bloat!

Moderation Pie, have S'more. Plus We All Made it to Friday

I want to take this moment to give you all my soap box speech #4.

#1 is my Ray Allen Eats Fiber and is Good to His Mom (reserved for my kids). #2 is my There Are No Statesmen Anymore, Only Politicians (reserved for my dad). #3 is my How Can You Be Upset, What I am Saying is Said With the Best Intentions (reserved for my PIAT).

So here is my soap box speech #4 - Everything in Moderation.

The secret to a really health and, in my opinion, happy lifestyle is enjoying yourself in moderation, and not hating yourself when you do. Sleep late sometimes, skip the occasional workout, watch the guilty pleasure movie or television show, have a drink - not a smoke, smoking makes you smell, that's gross. For the most part anything and everything in moderation.

To this end, I don't believe there is a food out there that you can't enjoy a bit of, and have it matter very little in the long run of your life. HOWEVER there are certainly exceptions to this rule, and you know who you are. So since it was Friday, and I like any excuse for a celebration, I offer this beautiful delicious and easy EASY splurge. Also, I planned ahead, and knowing we were having a house full of people over the weekend, I was sure no one could over-do on this pie perfection.

Judging but the look of disappointment on my PIAT's face, I was right.

People with food addictions and allergies notwithstanding, behold and enjoy, my S'mores Pie.

Crust ingredients:
1 1/2 crushed graham cracker crumbs
1/3 cup white sugar
6 tbs butter

Mix graham cracker crumbs, sugar and butter. Push into pie dish evenly. Bake at 375 for 7 minutes. While the crust cools...

 Filling ingredients:

1 1/2squares bitter sweet baking chocolate

3/4 cup sugar

5 tbs flour

1 1/2 cups milk

1 tsp vanilla

2 beaten egg yolks

1 tbs butter
1 hershey bar chopped

Mix chocolate, sugar, flour, milk, and egg yolks, in a medium sauce pot. Stir rapidly while mix thickens (it won't thicken further in the oven, so get it as thick as you want it) 5 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and add vanilla and butter. wait 5 minutes, and add the hershey bar.

Topping ingredients:
Bag of large marshmallows
chocolate bars


Pour into crust and bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Remove from heat and top with marshmallows. Return to oven for 10 more minutes. Remove, cool and decorate with additional hershey's bars or kisses if you prefer.

Not Rice Pudding - Inspired by John Engelmann

I wonder how many of us can easily identify the handful of people and moments that changed us into the people we are... Actually I don't wonder this at all, because I know mine, and I don't spend time worrying about other people and their transformations - I'm shallow like that. 

Anyway, when one of my handful, Mr. John Engelmann, former extraordinary middle school/high school science teacher, and the guy who taught me how to use mnemonic devices, asked me to find a gluten free and dairy free alternative for dessert, I was thrilled to help. I came up with this, the longer and slower you cook it the better, and until I told my family they had no clue it was good for them. If this isn't quite sweet enough for you, add a little more brown sugar, or a drizzle of maple syrup. 

1 cup uncooked quinoa

2 1/2 cups low-fat, unsweetened almond milk

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg, beaten

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

While you all know the magic that is quinoa, you might not know much about almond milk, I sure didn't. It is pretty easy to work with, it's creamy like a whole milk but with far less fat and calories. It also has loads of potassium, vitamin E, iron and fiber, so it's good for your blood pressure and really heart friendly. AND great for people with gluten allergies and lactose intolerance (and the people who love them).

Soak the quinoa in water for 15 minutes and rinse it well. In a medium saucepan, bring 2 cups water and the rinsed and drained quinoa to a boil. Shut off heat, cover and let sit for 20 minutes. Drain if needed.

quinoa for fiber

  In a bowl combine 1/2 cup almond milk and the beaten egg.

almond milk for extra protein

In another saucepan, combine cooked quinoa, 2 cups milk, and brown sugar. Cook over medium heat until thick and creamy, 20 to 30 minutes. Stir in milk and beaten egg. Cook 2 minutes more, stirring constantly. Remove from heat, and stir in vanilla. Serve warm.

Atonement Chili - Doing penance for an evening with Cantwell

We had a filled Friday night. While you think I am missing an adjective in the aforementioned sentence, I assure you I am not. The night started with a life lesson, never ask my PIAT for advice when what you are really looking for is rote agreement. Matt will shoot you straight, and send you out into the city in tears. He felt terrible and we have forgiving friends, so alls well that ends well.
The second part of our evening centered around dinner/drinks/dessert with our dear friend Cantwell. Cantwell is a man with a story, usually more than one, and he tells them well. Simply put, we ate too much, and drank too much, and as people who eat and drink too much often do, we went to an Italian bakery and ate our combined weight in dessert.
Never one to cry over spilled milk (or in this case, consumed lobster tail), I instead reversed the damage with the following, my Atonement Chili. Not for the faint of heart, this recipe will help you rid your body of the bad stuff!

Here is Atonement Chili in its four phases; veggies and meat, spices, the red stuff, and beans.

For the Meat and Veggies
1lb hot chicken sausage, casings removed
1lb bison (or 93% lean ground beef)
1lb chicken thighs with bone and skin
1/2 cup fresh cilantro torn
1 onion diced
2 bell pepers diced
1 poblano pepper diced (seeds removed)
1 jalapeno pepper diced (seeds removed)
For the Red Stuff
1 28oz can low sodium diced tomatoes
1 7oz can of chipotles in adobo sauce
For the beans
1 14oz can of garbanzo beans (rinsed and drained)
1 14oz can of black beans (rinsed and drained)
1 14oz can of navy beans (rinsed and drained)
For the spice mix
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp season pepper
1 tsp oregano
3 tbs chili powder
1 tbs paprika
And the extra at the end - 1/2 cup of ground flax

On it's way to being chili!

Get out the slow cooker, then you don't have to fuss the way you do on the stove top (although this exact recipe works that way as well). With the slow cooker set to 7 hours, and on, first in are the veggies, let them become fragrant and then add the meat and 1/3 the spice mix.
Next add the red stuff, and another 1/3 of the spice mix. Let the chili cook for a couple of hours in the slow cooker, or 20 minutes on a low flame.
Next add your beans, adding them later keeps them firm. The beans I have chosen were selected for maximum health and their texture. I don't like the typically used kidney bean - too mealy.
Let the whole thing cook on low heat as long as you can stand it. Then add the last 1/3 of the spice and the flax meal. Wait another half hour. Enjoy!
We garnish with fat free greek yogurt, guacamole, and low fat cheese. So so so good.

Remaking Fried Rice - Matt's Birthday Revenge

We celebrated the birthday of my PIAT, Matt, on August 1st of this year. August 2nd we learned, apparently a 31 year old cannot consume the same amount of buffalo wings a 30 year old can - not without consequences.
 "But it tastes so good while I'm eating it," he moaned, finally dropping of to sleep. And these words reverberate around my brain. That is my mantra when I cook. It has to taste so good, you feel guilty. Since I knew a reinvention of wings was going to have to remain on the backburner (here it is more than a month later and we still aren't speaking of your-age-in-free-wings-on-your-birthday night), I would have to find another family favorite to fix. So I took fried rice, something everyone (but me, actually) in this house loves. LOVES. I took it and reworked it into something that would clean up all the internal damage and taste great too.
1 cup quinoa
2 cups chicken stock
1 small onion diced
2 bell peppers diced
1 zucchini diced
1 tbs olive oil
season pepper to taste
pinch (I SAID PINCH) of salt
First you need to soak the crap out of the quinoa. If time is of the essence, you can soak it for 10 minutes, rinse it, soak for another 10, rinse it, soak for 10, and drain. But if you work or, you know have a life, just leave the quinoa covered with water and go about your day, nothing bad will happen.
Chop up all your veggies. Feel free to add whatever is fresh and local.
Add the quinoa and chicken stock to a pot and boil. Once it boils, shut it down, and let it cool and absorb. After 10 minutes, drain it.

I keep the quinoa and the veg separate until it's time to get cooking

Get the pan nice and hot with a coating of oil. Once it is really sizzling throw in the raw veggies. Move them around in the pan, letting them sweat. After a couple of minutes, when they are fragrant, add a drop more oil and throw in the drained quinoa. That should sizzle too. Keep mixing and let it all blend together. Add a pinch of salt and a healthy shack of season pepper, and serve - perfection! Remember, quinoa is gluten free, AND vegan friendly.
** as an alternative toss the mixture with a raw egg until it cooks and replace the salt with low sodium soy sauce for authentic fried rice flavor.

this eased both Matt's stomach and his conscience

Does Anyone Know if Shane is Staying for Dinner?

Our family is slowly making the transition from Mama Made Playdates to Where the Hell are the Kids. We now exist in the limbo known affectionately around here as "What time is that kid leaving?"
My Partner in All Things (PIAT) Matt, would like me to note, our kids have terrific friends. We love them. We love them here. We love feeding them. BUT more often than not I have to make elastic dinners. Dinners that can feed 4 to 6 people without any warning. Which brings us to tonight's dinner. Elastic Pasta. I can add another veg and make it go even further!
1 12oz box of pasta*
1 bunch of broccolini- chopped
1 pint of grape tomatoes
3 artichoke hearts cleaned roasted at 350 for 20 minutes - chopped
1 sweet onion - chopped
2 marinaded** chicken breasts pounded thin and chopped
2 tbs capers
1/4 cup chicken stock
part skin ricotta cheese (if desired)
* I use quinoa pasta, my kids like it more than whole wheat, and it has plenty of protien/fiber and is gluten free - if you are so inclined.
** marinade is as follows, 2 cloves garlic, 4 sprigs each of fresh mint, oregano, rosemary, juice of one lemon and an equal amount of olive oil. Puree the whole lot and marinate the chicken in it for several hours.

Prepare the pasta as directed on the box. While the pasta is heading toward done-ness, in a large pan coated with cooking spray cook the chicken, for 2 minutes. Set aside. Add the onions to the pan along with the artichoke and broccolini. Cook over medium/high heat adding 1/4 cup of chicken stock as needed. After 5 minutes add the chicken, tomatoes, and capers, cook for an additional minute. Toss a 1/4 cup of pasta water into the pan, cover and turn off the heat.
Drain the pasta and add to the pan. Serve with a teaspoon of the ricotta, if desired. And let's be honest, who among us doesn't desire ricotta?
And Shane didn't stay for dinner. Although he begged to stay. Next time, little dude, next time.

A serious bite of, HELL YEAH!